Question on leg pain and the resulting fear of a teacher

Hello friends,

I am interested in zazen, though my issue equally applies to all forms of sitting meditation. I have very inflexible hips, hamstrings, along with tightness in my groin, basically most areas in my legs. When I sit with my legs crossed, left leg in front of me, even with pillows to aid, most of the pressure is on one specific area near my foot, the rest of the leg stays raised. Right leg in front I can't do because there's too much pain in my knee. I've forced myself to sit a full 30 mins once, and the pain from the cut-off blood flow was intense, and it took several minutes before I could even walk again. 15 minutes seems the maximum I can handle sitting on pillows.

I'd love to go to a zazen temple to get proper instruction on my posture, but my fear is that it's just beyond my capabilities atm, and that I'm then going to have to sit in a lot of pain for a full session, which I can't really handle. A kneeling posture doesn't feel any better.

I currently just sit on a chair with a pillow, but I'd prefer to sit on the floor since I already spend plenty of my day on a chair. I'm a youngish guy and working on my leg/hip flexibility, but for the time-being, do you have any suggestions for me?

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Is this called anything? Feeling like a tiny single-dotted being

I tried wording my title as well as I could, and I’ll try and describe what I mean as best as I can.

I’ve been practicing being mindful and meditation for the past 5 months, due to a lot of crap going on in my own life, and as a way to accept this everything as it is in the moment, and being able to handle ruminating better.

Lately I’ve hit a weird spot, just a couple of times. I end up in a zone, where I am this tiny dot inside my head. “I” am located above my younger and behind my nose.

From here I see my own whole body as a universe in its own. I know how I am sitting. I know where my eyes are, and I know where my hand are, and I get this feeling, that from my location (the dot) there are several thousand kilometers in distance to my eye, and even further to my hand.

I feel very calm in this position, and obviously since I feel like my own universe, I feel really big.

I don’t know if this is anything to read into, but I just really enjoyed being in this state, and wanted to hear if anyone else has experienced something like it.

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Best guided meditation with relatable instructor videos?

Hello, I'm beginning to get into guided meditation, and I've started doing classes by Dylan Werner on Alo Yoga. I already take yoga classes from him and I ventured into his guided meditation. The issue is, I've stopped my membership and I'm nearing my last few days with the service.

I really like Dylan Werner because he's very calm but not too calm, and something else that I enjoy (doesn't have to be a necessity), but he will play a hand pan (drum) towards the end of the practice. I was really hoping to find someone relatable with free videos on guided meditation if at all possible.

Any recommendations?

Edit: Providing link to a free video from Dylan Werner on YouTube for anyone wondering what I'm talking about:

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Finding a community for advanced meditators

I recognize that this post will likely make me seem egotistical. However, I will still seek the advice of those of you who might be further along in your spiritual journeys.

I am finding it really difficult to meet others who are as far along on their spiritual journeys as I am. I would love to connect with local folks who might share their successes and failures, trials and errors, etc. I have looked at and Eventbrite, but find most of the folks who attend these events are usually just barely scratching the surface (if at all) of what meditation truly is and what ultimate goal it supports people in reaching.

I am an advanced meditator. I was wondering how I could go about finding other fellow advanced meditators near me? I would appreciate any suggestions. Technically speaking, I know I can continue going alone. If I must, then I will. But until I have reached the ultimate goal, I do not want to assume I know everything and would likely learn from those who might be further along than I am. Thanks in advance!

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