My entire life, I’ve always tried my best to control those around me on some level. I don’t mean this in a malicious way; all of the people I’ve tried to exert control over are dear to my heart, and my desire to play a role in their actions came from a place of good intentions. However, meditating regularly the last few months has given me far more awareness of my thoughts, and has subsequently allowed me to realize where much of my anger comes from: my fruitless attempts to control others’ lives. I’ve always gotten so distraught over family members, friends, and even random strangers doing things that aren’t in their best interest, and I now realize my emotional turbulence has actually lessened my ability to do good for myself and others. I’ve realized the only person I can control is me, and that that’s how it should be. Additionally, I feel I’ve gained far more perspective from this realization, as I’ve come to see the hypocrisy I’ve engaged in by wanting others to care for themselves while I’ve neglected my own emotional and mental well-being for so long. Moreover, I believe if I continue down this path of greater self-awareness and self-control, a byproduct could be inspiring others to look inward as well.
I apologize if I’ve rambled a little bit, or if this post isn’t as coherent as I’d like it to be. I just wanted to share my thoughts, as I’ve been unusually content today, and I believe my acceptance of my lack of control over others coupled with my focus on the control I have over myself is why.